I have a secret, one I’ve learned to keep to myself for so many years.
I have Hemophilia, the bleeding disease.
For years the daughters of men who have it were told that they were simply carriers of a defective gene. It’s a gene they passed onto their children. Many women like me suffered in silence thinking it was just the luck of the draw.
Some women had the money and the stamina to keep seeking a doctor who wouldn’t take “that’s just the way it is” for an answer.
I am a beneficiary of those brave women. Now I know that my blood isn’t like every one else’s, my body doesn’t work the same way either. The older I get, I’ll be 50 this July, the more my body does not like me very much.
When Jennifer Smith, of “Unveiled Wife”, asked me to write a letter to a woman suffering from sickness I knew exactly what to say. I’ve been honored to know Jennifer personally. We attend the same church, my son knows her niece, and we see each other around town. We smile and hug when we see each other.
Yes, she’s really that awesome in Real Life.
After Jennifer wrote her book “A Woman After God’s Heart” I asked to get a copy to do a review. Of course, as luck would have it, my body got very sick soon after. That only exacerbated my relationship with my husband. It added to our sense of hopelessness.
Here we were, stuck in a land where we don’t know many people and didn’t have family nearby. I was sick and didn’t have my doctor of many, many years. Reading a book about how to be a Godly wife was the last thing I wanted to think about.
It’s also hard to focus when you’re in pain. Emotionally. Physically. Spiritually.
God is amazing you know, in oh so many ways.
He kept sticking this beautiful woman in my face. Everywhere I turned, there she was! I kept thinking I really need to say something about this book already.
Because I had read it. All of it. One night, late in the evening, when I couldn’t sleep.
I cried. I cried a lot.
Here I thought I was perfect. I had done no wrong. I had committed no sins.
That’s the biggest sin of all, you know. Pride. Un-humility. (Is that a word? It should be.) I prayed every single prayer. For me. For my husband. For us as a married unit before God.
Crossroads Church is an amazing place.
We were Methodists when we came here. We tried hard, very hard, to be Methodists here in this land that is a well watered desert. No matter how much you water something, it can still be a desert. God was changing us in very subtle ways. Everything we thought we had, we lost. Everything we thought we knew, was taken away. Everything we depended on, became a slippery slope.
Every Sunday we would drive past the largest parking for a church we’d ever seen to go to a tiny and dying church. A church that both welcomed and repelled us. (We could never be sure but we did know there wasn’t anything in between.)
At that point we needed a change, a revival of the spirit.
Anyway, what happened next is a story for another time. Because you do know, we stayed. We grew roots. Not before we all took a cleansing bath in the baptismal bathtub. That was the best bath I’ve ever had, bar none! You really should try it sometime. It’s amazing how doing that with Jesus by your side can make you feel like an entirely new person. The people we found there are so filled with the love of God. They are true Disciples.
God brought us to the desert and gave us water, real water.
Which brings me back to my original point.
Jennifer wrote this book and now she’s publicizing it. She is going around talking to women’s groups sharing her story. A few weeks ago she had a day conference at our church.
I was blessed, and humbled, to be asked to write a letter.
This letter comes from my heart, from my innermost being, with all my love, to you.
If I can do it, tiny and sick little me, anal-retentive, controlling, ADHD filled, me.
Then. So. Can. YOU!
To read “Dear Enduring One” go here: http://unveiledwife.com/dear-enduring-one-woman-facing-illness/
Join Unveiled Wife’s Facebook group going through the book, “Wife After God”.