This all started when I told my son’s psychologist he was not helping me with my son’s ADHD the way I had hoped.
My kid was a terror! He had broken dishes, and glasses, and mementos, written on just about every single wall in the house, and I find everything in his room because it was shiny and he picked it up. This therapy was not getting us any closer to my having a child who wasn’t a whirling dervish on steroids.
That’s how the Rubber Band Method of Child Discipline started. A rant to my kid’s ADHD pyschiatrist.
His solution was that I was way too busy noticing what he did wrong and not nearly enough paying attention to what he did right.
Yeah, he cut a huge hole in his little brother’s playpen. In his defense, it was to help him escape prison so they could play together.
And he may have taken out every single pot and pan I owned and banged them up but good with my wooden spoons. But did you hear the rhythm and the cadence? The kid could be a jazz musician one day!
Drawing a sign on the wall, in black Sharpie, directing the tooth fairy to his bedroom was pure genius in his book. After all, what kid did not want to make absolutely sure she knew where to show up with her loot. It was cute the way he sounded out tooth fairy to spell “too fewy”.
The Rubber Band Method of Child Discipline Begins
My homework was to wrap 3 rubber bands around my wrists in the morning to catch him doing something good. I also had to remember that this kid just had his own way of finding his way through the world.
And rejoice in that.
The idea became so popular that other moms have tried it. Each of them used this method in their own way. Pretty much the way Logan lives life. Read how it changed their lives and their parenting for the better. Then try one of their methods!
Who knows? You may actually learn to rejoice in your child’s methods, too.
1.Jessica Abbot tried it because she felt like a drill sergeant herding cats. It’s just too easy to yell to get the kids to listen. The rubber bands were a physical reminder to offer her children praise. She could see in her daughter’s eyes the she appreciated her mom noticed her good intentions. Just like my own son, her daughter worked harder without being asked to.
2. Tanya had a problem with my definition of discipline. She learned that it really is any sort of training intended to mold character or alter behavior. She learned that this concept of discipline had to start with her first and her idea of what it means to be a mother. Any time she slips up and snap at one of at one of children she moves a band from my left wrist to my right.
3. Teaque wanted to know what did she sign up for. “I’ve been concentrating on being nice! It’s a lot of work lol. I have 1 left for one kid and it’s only 6pm. Phew. Going to make it! Do I have to be kind on Sunday’s too?!”
That’s the point of this exercise. We truly believe we are always telling our kids they are doing a great job. Yet, do we really?
She private messaged me about 9:30 a few nights later.
“Made it!! And we had such a good day! Honestly sad that this was actually tough for me. I had to truly think about it all day long. I say I love you and thank you to my kids often but knew my comments needed to have more value, be genuine, and heartfelt to count. Last one didn’t come off til 9:30pm. Wow. I’m wearing them to bed so I’ll remember first thing tomorrow. Thank you for such a sweet idea and I’m thankful the Holy Spirit whispered in my ear and I actually listened.”
4. Instead of 3 rubber bands for positive praise, another mom used them for negative statements. Whenever she used a negative statement that is not followed by a positive statements, OR when she raised her voice, she moves a rubber band from her right wrist to her left wrist. That will remind her to do better the next time.
5. Two psychologists, who are also dads, talked about how the rubber band discipline method changed their parenting style on their podcast, The Real Family Guys. They now tell clients to read the post and give the rubber band discipline method a try in their parenting.
6. Martel is another dad that realized sometimes one of the reason why kids become rebellious is that they were repeatedly scolded and punished for every wrong thing they committed. Kids end up thinking that their parents always look at their bad sides not considering other things that were done right. The love and care were missing which leads children to become disobedient.
Supporting Each Other With The Rubber Band Method
Want to know the best part of all this? All the folks tagging their friends and significant others saying, “Want to try this together?” Oh, my heart. Yes! A revolution of showing our kids unconditional love from the get go has begun. Don’t make them work for it or earn it first. Give it freely and in turn, they will want to do good things because they will want even more kudos from you. Try this method today with your child and tell me in the comments below what happened. I would love to hear from you.
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